thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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