Will you blow on my dice?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Randomize
