He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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