i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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