I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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