They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
