Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
