sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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