I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
