i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
