She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
