how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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