You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize