I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize