I'm really into asian looking animals
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I have tasted many bathrooms
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
