But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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