Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
