Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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