She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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