he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
