Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
