question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
