Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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