It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just had sex on a roof
well, you know. whores of a feather.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
