Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
