I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize