i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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