threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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