you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Randomize