Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
