I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
