Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
is wine microwaveable?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
