Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Randomize