i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
