Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
