Moan for me like Helen Keller
false alarm. still invincible.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
