people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
