he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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