hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
