It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
