Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I can't turn off my feet"
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
