I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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