So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
