i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
