I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
