Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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