Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
