I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
