Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
