1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
