was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Can I color on your dick again?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
