I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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