I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
