No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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