can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
It's shark week go big or go home
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
