Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
