U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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