he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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