i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
