Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
