Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize