my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
