He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Holy shit dude........stairs
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
