sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
