Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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