I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
