I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
